The Family Room    

Dr. Larry Thorson
May 24, 2009  

 

Matthew 16:24-25

 

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

 

Today’s New International Version Copyright © 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society

 

This is the fifth in a series based on Robert Munger’s My Heart, Christ’s Home.  In this series Dr. Munger helps people understand what Christian discipleship is by picturing the human heart as a home.  Becoming a Christian in this imagery means inviting Jesus into our hearts to make His home there – as Paul says in Eph. 3:17: “I pray … that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.”  But Jesus not only wants to make His home in our hearts, but to do His transforming work there. And so Munger describes Jesus as going room to room in the home of our hearts doing his renovating work – with each room representing a different part of our lives.

Today we look at what Munger calls “the Rec Room” or what is also called the “family room.”  I’ve noticed in a lot of houses built in the last ten years that there’s a casual room downstairs attached to the kitchen where the big screen television is but there might also be a loft room outside the upstairs bedrooms where families often put a pool table.  Whatever you call it, the rec room or the family room or the loft, this room represents the part of our life where we have fun.  

In My Heart Christ’s Home, Dr. Munger imagines getting ready to go out on the town with one of his friends, when Jesus stops him and says, “I would like to go with you.” But Munger responds to Jesus awkwardly by saying, “Oh, I don’t think you would really enjoy where we are going. Let’s go out together tomorrow night. Tomorrow night we can go to a Bible class or a social at the church, but tonight I have another engagement.”

What Munger imagines himself doing there is what we do all the time.  We try to compartmentalize our faith and in so doing trialize our faith. To compartmentalize your faith is to put your  religious life into a little compartment that you take out for church. 

I’m a great one for compartmentalizing my life.  There’s an old saying that helps me stay organized and I follow it fairly strictly which says “everything has a place and everything in its place.”  I have literal compartments for everything. 

When we lived in a little thousand square foot house in San Jose and had two children we also rented out one of our three bedrooms.  To make space I built compartments in every nook and cranny of the house.  I built tunnels in the attic and carpeted the crawl spaces so I could better get to some tiny areas where I stored things.  Everything in every nook was catalogued and every box was marked and numbered.  When the moving companies came to give us an estimate of what it would cost to move us they all greatly underestimated our load (to our advantage). 

Compartmentalizing is good for keeping order but it’s terrible for relationships.  Like the evangelism elder I had in another church who had a compartment for his religious life and that was the time he spent in church.  He had a compartment for his family.  When he was on the road for business he had a compartment for hiring female companions.  Everything was neatly compartmentalized until his wife found a receipt from one of the female companions and then nothing in his life was compartmentalized. 

Sometimes we compartmentalize our free time because we know we’re doing something Jesus wouldn’t approve of, and consciously choose to have a separate double life. But often, this double life develops not because we are choosing it, but because we don’t choose not to. The world relegates faith to a small part of our lives, and we follow that pattern.  Jesus really has little influence outside our coming to church on Sunday morning.

For example a lot of Christian unmarried couples don’t give a second thought to living together or being sexually active – not because they don’t believe in Christian morals, but because they’ve been able to separate their religious lives and their personal lives. There are Christian students who think nothing of cheating on their homework or a test because they see the need for good grades and getting into a good college as out of the realm of the influence of Christian faith.

Instead of compartmentalizing our faith, we are called to integrate our faith.  Our faith needs to shape every area of our lives.  The apostle Paul in Colossians 3:17 put it this way: “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

The Scriptures don’t see our relationship with Jesus to be the most important priority among many. It’s not Jesus, then family, then work, then my recreational time. Instead, our relationship with Jesus is to be the priority that defines all the others.

It is not Jesus, then family – but “What does Jesus want for my family?” It is not Jesus, then work, but “How is Jesus calling me to do my work?” It is not Jesus, then personal time, but “How does Jesus want me to spend my personal time.” It means allowing our relationship with Jesus to be at the very center of everything we do in life.

The way we can live this integrated life is by first believing that Jesus desires our best all the time not just some of the time.  Jesus’ best will bring us joy.  Believing Jesus desires our best and that his best will bring us joy allows us to make Jesus to be the lord of all our life.  

How do we do this?  This is where it gets upside down and backwards.  Jesus said in Matthew 16:24; "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it…”

You’ve heard the saying “Get a Life” and usually that means have some fun.  Jesus said the way to get a life or get happiness (and that’s what we want out of our rec room) is to deny ourselves.  That’s the opposite of what we usually think is right.

But it works like this: when I wake up in the morning at 6:00 do I want to get out of bed and take my dog on a 45 minute run?  Usually not.  What I want to do is go back to sleep but if not sleep then get up, go downstairs, pour a bowl of cereal and read the news.  That would really, really bring happiness to me.  Right?  Yes it would. 

If I followed that pattern day after day after awhile I’d feel lousy, then anxious, then fat, then depressed, and finally lethargic.  Eventually without exercise I’d be looking at high blood pressure, and long term painful visits to the doctor. If I do 45 minutes of pain first thing in the morning I can avoid 15 hours of not feeling my best later on.  That’s what exercise can do for us.  But you can’t exercise without denying yourself something.

The Chancel Choir could have dreamt all they wanted about singing anthems but if they hadn’t denied themselves television time on Wednesday nights and come to practice they wouldn’t be singing anthems today. 

You can’t have Jesus at the center of your life without denying something in your life.  It won’t work.  I can tell you cute story after cute story but if all you want to do is sit on your sofa in your family room and watch television those stories won’t help.

Jesus can’t be a compartment in your life.   

Now if we don’t live like this, according to Jesus, we will miss life – “whoever wants to save his life will lose it.” But if we “lose our lives” – that is, if we quit trying to be in charge of our own lives, submit to Jesus and seek to allow Him to direct our lives – we “will find it.”

That is what Munger discovers when He relinquishes control of the Rec Room to Jesus. He found that Jesus transformed it. He writes: “He brought new friendships, new excitement, new joys.  Laughter and music have been ringing in the house ever since.  With a twinkle in his eye, he smiled. “You thought that with me around you wouldn’t have much fun didn’t you? Remember, I

have come ‘that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be

full.” 

        Let’s make a commitment today – to allow Jesus to

decompartmentalize our lives. Let’s not try and stuff Jesus into a

certain compartment – limit Him to being in only one place.

Instead, let’s seek to allow Him to be the Lord of every part of our lives because we know He wants our best and that His best will bring real joy.

Where today do you need to allow Jesus to work? In your work life? In your family life? In your recreational life? In your

relationships? Let’s talk to Him about it right now. Let’s pray.